Key

Last week, an international caricature festival was held in the Hungarian town of Siafok. Entries came from some 20 countries but, as Belgrade caricaturist Dragan Rumencic said, it turned out that "Yugoslavs are the best caricaturists in the world".

Yugoslavs in the wider, nostalgic sense. Five of the festival's six awards went to Gradimir Smudja from Novi Sad, Suncica Bozinovski from Skoplje, Srecko Puntaric from Rijeka, Hasan Fazlic from Sarajevo and Bozo Kos from Maribor. Montenegro was the only one of the former Yugoslav republics that did not get an award but that's because no one from the republic was there.

Rumencic responded to claims that "the Slav key is alive and well" by saying the sixth award went to Hungarian Imre Szabo.

Selectiveness

Several guests at Valjevo's Sidro bar stayed on well past midnight. Since long hours working with bottles tends to create all kinds of competition, owner Zoran Likic threw Slobodan Tesic out for insulting other guests. A police patrol showed up in the middle of the argument and exchange of hands and went to work on Likic. Reinforcements were brought in to take care of waiter Milan Nedeljkovic. The two men were handcuffed and taken to the police station for further treatment. By coincidence, one of the policemen was Goran Tesic, son of Slobodan who was thrown out of the bar. Likic and Nedeljkovic completed their treatment and went straight to Radio Valjevo to tell them what happened. When the whole thing went public, police chief Milos Pantelic spoke up. He was amazed at reporters' interest in "a case that is neither interesting or important" and added that "judging by everything there was cause to intervene". He said the men were "under the influence of alcohol (some were taken to court) and suffered only light injuries" (Likic has three stitches behind his ear and lost a tooth and Nedeljkovic had an eardrum burst). The chief admitted his men overstepped their authority; they selectively used force against only the bar owner and waiter. Disciplinary charges were brought against Goran Tesic and Marko Markovic and civilians will be taken to court. If Goran had beaten his father Slobodan the use of force would have been declared suitable. Just as the visit by about 100 Valjevo policeman to Belgrade was suitable to provide "security" for Seselj and Zhirinovski during their walk around town, something the police chief had no idea about. But that field trip had its consequences. Because of it the police Bezbednost soccer team couldn't play Rom in the local soccer league.

But the police were free to play host to Ceca Raznatovic during her visit to Valjevo. They made a great team with Arkan's guards who wore traditional blue suits for the occasion. The cooperation was so good that the police didn't notice the guards' bus which was parked in the middle of the local high street for three hours. What's a traffic jam compared to serving Ceca and her husband's volunteers?

Wood

A wagon load of wood (the measure is by cubic meter or meter and a half depending on the seller) costs 80 DEM in Banja Luka. The price of wood stood at some 10 DEM a cubic meter from the start of the war in that area. Banja Luka, unlike Sarajevo which used its trees for heating, had woods to cut around town and even further away. But, it no longer has Drvar which was called Truck City by some, nor Grahovo or the other Krajina towns that were rich in lumber.

The Flag

SRNA's Paris correspondent reported that "the Serb flag with a two-headed white eagle is flying on the roof of Europe at a height of 4,807 meters". Many suddenly sobered Bosnian Serbs, with all respect due to climbers Eric Bourdillon and Frank Brochorele, commented that it would have been much nicer if the Serb tricolor were flying somewhere more useful, for example Ostrelj mountain between Drvar and Petrovac.

Millennium

Welcoming the recently established diplomatic relations between China and Croatia, Franjo Tudjman stressed that the mutual links between the two states are a millennium old. We assume he had in mind alleged Korcula island resident Marco Polo and his trip to China. Polo dictated his book in prison and his contemporaries titled it "Million" which was the surname for the incredible at the time. The 700th (not 1,000th) anniversary of Polo's trip to China is being marked in the world today. Among the many articles and books about the explorer is one by British historian Francis Wood who argues that Polo never reached China but retold stories he heard from other people and unwittingly undermined the thousand year links between Croatia and China.