Albanians and Sneakers

Last winter’s "egg revolution" caused a lot of damage to the freedom-loving Serbian people and all the decent citizens of Serbia; besides the unprecedented embarrassment which destructive elements in Belgrade subjected their homeland to (since the world public, headed by Beijing’s Renmin Ribao and the Pyongyang Times, was shocked by their vandalism), those destroyers of all values managed to force Serbian President Slobodan Milosevic to isolate his wife Mira Markovic from the public since there was a real danger that she might topple the people’s regime through her irritating speeches. Still, Markovic returned to the public eye triumphantly which is the most reliable sign that the power of the people has been preserved and that the enemy is dying. Just in case, the sociology professor moved her diary column from the not too reliable Duga fortnightly to the always politically correct Bazar women’s weekly which finds the meaning of life in sewing, knitting, hair curlers and the financing of Hadzi Dragan Antic’s media empire.

In the first installment of the new cycle of her diary which is even more important than the main evening news on state TV, Markovic portrays, with the traditional intuition of sociologists of the Soviet school, "opposition leaders" (the quotes are hers, which leads to the conclusion that they are neither the opposition nor leaders) who travel the world and move around the back rooms of the powerful of the world. When one of those powerful people makes the mistake of receiving them, they immediately start sucking up like aggressive beggars and use the most vile language possible to attack their own people and the greatest people’s regime in the world. Their moral poverty and human misery are reflected in those treasonous trips around the world and the fact that no one takes them seriously out there; and how could they when those power-brokers can only remember them till the next day "by the non-European beard, peasants’ servility or the silent woman who always says she was charmed to meet them at the end of the visit".

Markovic concludes that those unworthy examples personify the "reincarnation of the Serb vassal before the first Serbian uprising". Those vassals go around the world practicing their improper behavior wherever they can; more precisely they are "the reincarnations of beings from her (Serbia’s) darkest past, who walk around in peasant’s shoes with a humble mind, archaic vocabulary, with the lumpenproletariat meekness". A fault-finder could wonder at the choice of her words. This is an idea and even Markovic is unprecedented here. She was wise enough to choose a husband who walks around the world in a dignified and calm manner in comfortable Timberland shoes bought in a prominent Dayton shop, not in simple peasants’ shoes.

So while Markovic uses carefully selected words to criticize some people for leaving the state and saying all kinds of things about it, Zoran Lilic recommended just that to part of the population: "If the ethnic Albanians want their own state, they can cross the Prokletija mountains into Albania". That ethnic group did not show any enthusiasm for the lucid idea of the "President of all the citizens of the FRY", which only proves that the Enemies of All Colors don’t know what they want: you can’t force one group to stay in the country and you can’t chase the other group out.

That inconsiderate behavior by destructive elements who have joined forces against the People’s Regime can be beaten: they should be persuaded to trade strategies so that the first group stays here and the ethnic Albanians go where they belong. That will finally bring eternal social peace and Markovic will be able to concentrate on her botanical and meteorological observations. You think I’m kidding? They’re not.