Griefs of a Rescuer

Upon arrival in Przno at the Congress of Yugoslav Economists, Dr. Jovan Todorovic, Director of the Institute for Market Research (IZIT) phoned his wife to tell her that he found good accommodations, and that his room is on the ground floor of Hotel Maestral, surrounded by a beautiful garden. Following that he sat down, turned on the TV and proceeded to watch a football game. When he smelled burning rubber, it occurred to him that perhaps the TV had not been used for some time and its cables were merely getting hot. However, as the smell grew even stronger, Dr. Todorovic went out on the porch/garden to assess the situation more closely. The spectacle was something — the hotel was engulfed in thick smoke. At first, he did not understand what was happening, but soon shouts were heard. "Why are you just standing there and looking! Help us! It’s all very well for you, you are safe down there, but we will perish in the fire". The surprised Dr. Todorovic looked up to see two panic-stricken ladies on a terrace several flights up. "How can I help you?" he asked in confusion. "Go find some ladders", the answer came from above.

LADDERS: The Director of IZIT went back into his room and proceeded down the hallway toward the hotel reception desk. However, as the fire was fairly far gone, he was choked by smoke. It was clear to him that there was no chance of his making it to the reception desk, so he went back. He had problems breathing and thought that he would lose consciousness. Feeling his way back, he managed to find his room and appeared once again in the garden.

"Where have you been all this time? Where are the ladders?" came the din from the terrace above, followed by harsher words. Still not in full command of his senses, Dr. Todorovic went to the reception desk outside, managing to get hold of a few ladders. But, when he got back, it turned out that they were too short. The panicking ladies again began their shouting, while he suggested that they lower themselves to the ladders with bed sheets. "That is out of the question", they shouted, ordering him to lift the ladders above his head and hold them so that they could get down. Assessing his athletic abilities as slightly beneath those required, and followed by further criticism and shouting ("How selfish you are, all you think about is yourself, and you don’t care that we will burn to death"), Dr. Todorovic found a solution by propping the ladders on a table.

SHEETS AND SNEAKERS: However, that was not the end of his problems: after the panicked guests came down to safe ground, their bags fell on their rescuers head. Having recovered from this collision, the sneakers of one of the ladies hit him next (while coming down all she kept saying was, "my sneakers, my sneakers...").

The next day Mrs. Todorovic read in the newspapers that her husband came down a rope of tied bed sheets from the third floor. Hence, marital misunderstanding: what was he doing on the third floor, when he said that his room was on the ground level? The aggressive lady guests in the meantime left in an unknown direction, not even having thanked their rescuer, says Dr. Todorovci.

While the Director of IZIT was going through all this, Dr. Stojan Stamenkovic, an associate of the Institute for Economic Research, observed the fire at Maestral from the terrace of his room (also on the ground floor), sipping a beer. Assessing that there was no cause for panic, Dr. Stamenkovic withdrew from his terrace toward the shore, not letting go of his beer, while the fire raged on. In the meantime, his friends and colleagues were inquiring worriedly about his whereabouts in the foyer of the Villa Milocer. As no one could say anything with certainty on this score, tears almost began flowing. But Dr. Stamenkovic was debating with himself whether to go back to his room to take a nap. The firemen dissuaded him from that, after which all the economists met at the Palace Hotel in Petrovac.

Just as the Academian Branislav Soskis concluded that evening ("If no one is hurt, the Congress will be held"), the economists continued to mingle, not too successfully, for the next three to four days.

The real hero of this story is the architect who designed Hotel Maestral. Having given over the keys to his creation he informed the new owners that a fire proof wall had been included in its construction, so that a fire could not spread. That is the only reason why Maestral was rescued from total destruction.