Zeljko "The Great" Simic

How are we to measure the greatness of Zeljko Simic? If we are to judge by his weight, it is more than certain that we are dealing with a man of a larger than average dimension. Not physical, of course; moral! His honor and reputation, namely, are worth 350.000 dinars - for now. Such is the sum which the state budget wishes to reclaim from Vreme's editorial office and those responsible within it thanks to a verdict handed down on the basis of the Information Law, while citizen and minister Simic is demanding a fairly large sum for personal use, in name of the spiritual pain he had endured. As is known to all, this unbearable pain - which demands a rather large injection of financial balm - was incurred upon him by the brutal claim of the sacked National Theater general manager, Nebojsa Badic, that he was ousted by Simic, the minister of culture in the government of Serbia (see Vreme of Feb. 26 this year). All that Vreme's reporter had done was to correctly transmit a statement of a prominent public persona who was a direct (and affected) participant in the recent quagmire surrounding the National Theater. However, Simic is convinced that it presents a clear insinuation for which Vreme will have to pay, since Bradic was ousted by the government, and not by him. It is, however, true that he is, somehow, a member of that government, moreover heading the relevant ministry, i.e. the one who decides (among other things) on personnel issues in state-owned institutions of culture, however Simic probably perceives that this could eventually open up abstract logical-philosophical questions on the relation between a part and a whole, and as such has nothing whatsoever to do with his ministerial persona; who knows, maybe the slandered Simic wasn't even present at that government session and would otherwise have energetically stood up against such brutal interference in his department?! Since, if that wasn´t the case, someone could think that personnel issues in culture are resolved, for example, by a suggestion made by the minister of police: all those who make up the government gather, the session begins, and Mr. Interior Minister Vlajko Stojiljkovic

laments that Bradic needs to be dismissed immediately, as he is undermining, from the inside an institution of immense national significance; the minister of agriculture seconds this noble initiative, the minister of forestry holds an impassioned and convincing anti-Bradic speech, the minister of ikebana and horticulture strongly urges for
an energetic clean-up of all negative tendencies in the theater... During this time Simic - if he is present at all - absentmindedly stares out of the window, not wishing to influence the direction of his estimable colleagues´ thoughts. So therefore the government - without the blameless Simic - decides that Nebojsa Bradic has to be kicked out and appoints a new general manager of the National Theater, who goes by the name of  - Zeljko Simic! When this person appears, moonlighting at his new work place, it turns out that he is the very same Zeljko Simic who is a member of the government with whose decision he does not in the least identify (when you mention it to him, he´s prone to sue!), however he is not embarrassed about it at all: after all, it wasn´t him who kicked out his predecessor, it was the government in which he happens to be the minister of culture! So just try reproaching him...

Now, what does all of this have to do with Zeljko Simic´s measure of greatness as mentioned at the very beginning? Patience, reader, patience: one does not arrive at the essence in such an easy and quick fashion! Let´s remain with the nominal cause of the conflict which resulted in Simic´s complaints. Therefore, thanks to a government decision - with which minister Simic had nothing to do, Zeljko Simic has for the last couple of months been fulfilling the arduous and ungrateful task of National Theater general manager. At first glance, there is nothing unusual in that either: all is occurring as usual, the sky hasn´t fallen on our heads. However, there is a slight problem: the professional identity of citizen Zeljko Simic. It is, however, incontestable that this man is not a stage director. There is also no doubt that the aforementioned isn´t a playwright either;  there isn´t a slightest doubt that the injured party is not an actor, although there is no doubt at all that he is talented; no one is refuting that Simic is not a screenwriter either; reliable information states that he isn´t a prominent theater critic either. What are we, therefore, talking about when we are talking about Zeljko Simic? Opinions can vary on that, however one thing is unrefutable: he is not a man of the theater. His qualifications to head the national theater (hey!) are equal to those possessed by tens of thousands of Belgrade citizens: namely, they too love the theater (and believe they know it) and occasionally visit it. The only difference between him and them is that they are not members of the government which has dismissed Nebojsa Bradic, the stage director. And maybe that´s where the solution lies: Zeljko Simic, as innocent as a little boarding school girl, has simply, due to unforeseeable circumstances found himself in the field of vision of the government members who had (minus Simic) dismissed Bradic, and was then kindly asked to help out in the critical situation... Had others, such as performance artist Zika Obretkovic, or the renown sportsman Pedja Mijatovic or, God forbid, journalist Teofil Pancic, found themselves in the government at that precise moment, who knows what might have happened... Therefore, one could say that we fared relatively well. Simic might not be a man of the theater, however no one can dispute his theatrical behavior, and that´s something.

Naturally, we can poke fun and giggle to our hearts content (even though that has a certain price!), but we can´t seem to be able to wash out the bitterness: what we have before us is a first-class cultural and social scandal and humiliation which even the one-party system had never imposed upon the cultural public: then too only the right theater people could hold such positions, but at least they were of the theater! Not even in Tito's time had they appointed car mechanics, nurses or philosophers-innovators to positions of theatre general managers. What was needed, from the end of the eighties onwards, was a creation of a specific Serbian form of Rule of the Worst, to make us face such a phenomenon. It isn't difficult to explain why the public's reaction was relatively lukewarm: humiliated and insulted, the defeated people - who had already seen it all - no longer have the strength to be amazed by anything. Which is why the country and all in it that is fainthearted has been left to the mercy of their, seethed in crime, internal occupiers, while its culture has been left to the destructive whims of the professionally undefined individuals who extort their reputation via court proceedings, in want of better ways.

However, all of this appears to be only a nominal cause of the dispute. Minister and General Manager Simic, namely, in his thus far exclusive statement with regards to this case (broadcast in the Dnevnik and Nocnik news programs on Radio B2-92 on Tuesday, April 11, 2000), doesn´t even mention this particular theatrical denouement. The statement deserves to be heard in all its entirety: "I have been tolerating certain invectives from journalists, without having given them any cause. Therefore, I would never have gone into this if there hadn´t been elementary insults committed by the journalists on whose worth I don´t wish to comment since it wouldn´t be appropriate, yet who have no right to call me little. That honestly doesn´t touch me. Behind me stand my books, I have the years that I have, and I am willing to take part in any dialogue, on any TV channel, yet without any invectiveness since I believe that it wouldn´t lead this region into a region of tolerance and culture, and that is the elementary thing which made me take up what I have taken up which, I admit, from my viewpoint isn´t overly popular, but is the only way even journalists will be convinced of the legal space which determines the boundaries of their activities. Nothing more than that."

Excuse me please, what was that all about? Haven´t we reached an agreement that the problem lies in the judicially certified material untruth that Mr. Simic decisively participates in government decision which have to do with his ministry? Where did this "little" come from, who´s "little", how, why?! The explanation is banal, and totally hilarious: the minister who "has books behind him" (supposedly, when he turns his back to them) and who "determines the boundaries of the legal space" in order to protect himself from "elementary insults" can be aiming at only one title, that of Zeljko "The Little" Simic which someone who bears his name and last name had previously - quite a few years ago - earned in Petar Lukovic´s satirical Blind Box column, published in Vreme (the nickname is otherwise a paraphrase of Baja The Little Kninja´s artistic name, a patriotically inclined folk singer, another outstanding public figure of that time). Since it was satirical fiction (there´s even a play based on it at the Center for Cultural Decontamination!), it is impossible to positively ascertain whether Zeljko "The Little" Simic truly is the citizen, minister & general manager Zeljko Simic: it would be the same if, for example, Margaret Thatcher claimed that her image was used on the rag monster in the hilarious Spitting Image series, or if Mirjana Markovic was to claim that she occasionally appears in Predrag Koraksic´s caricatures (which, naturally, she has no intention of doing, an extremely intelligent decision). Be what it may, all of this is in journalistic measurements yesterday´s news which, however, Vreme reminded its readers of two weeks ago in its review of P. Lukovic´s book The Years of the Breakdown; it is possible that the minister has read the above mentioned text which awoke in him bitter memories of times of horrific lawlessness prior to the Information Law, when he was exposed to horrendous psychological torture... If we carry on in this direction, the next thing we can expect is a legal process due to the bucket carrying, camouflaged,  naturally, into something with a lot more principle...

The issue is, therefore, hilarious to the point of tears. The minister recognized himself in the satirical grotesque and determined to retroactively seek his revenge, now that he's in a position to do so. However, that's methodologically perfectly inappropriate, as well as malicious: it would be the same as if, for example, someone would conclude - only on the basis of the frequency of the name Zeljko and the  last name Simic amongst the Serbs - that the esteemed minister of culture Zeljko Simic is the same literally inclined person who, in times of leisure, has written several sterile scrapbooks, which were subsequently bought by that very same ministry of culture (hey, using public funds!) therefore making public libraries throughout Serbia deliriously happy, even though that same ministry has failed to give a single cent for the purchase of hundreds and hundreds of worthy books from a number of the most eminent - today mostly privately owned - publishers; it is clear that we can´t be talking of the same person, since: 1. the author of that couldn´t possibly become minister of culture even in such a Serbia; 2. even if those were his books, the minister, owing to his authority, would make sure that they wouldn´t be purchased prior to, i.e. instead of (how immensely embarrassing!) the number of worthy pieces of contemporary literature, philosophy and science, which Serbian public libraries and their impoverished readers are yearning for. Just as he would have used his influence to stop himself from being appointed general manager of the National Theater, and would have made damn sure that they got hold of a theatrical persona - if only the government had remembered to ask for his opinion. However, the government had acted arbitrarily, and it´s now up to Simic to draw hot potatoes from the fire, to "set the boundaries" for the cheeky press and to prove to the whole world, employing liberal judicial regulators, how he, minister, general manager and thinker, with his back leisurely turned to the books, never and in any way walks Little Under the Stars. And whoever doubts the dimensions of Zeljko the Big Simic, should take a good look into his wallet prior to voicing his opinion.